Problem/Goal: Fear of failure
Date: November 2017
Technique: Regression therapy
Summary: The fear of failure is a very generalized topic but I think it encapsulated my inability to proceed in doing the things I wanted to be doing, out of fear. It was amazing what popped up from my subconscious mind. I have not been in touch with this memory in probably over 25 years.
Memory: I was standing on stage, with my class, in 2nd grade and I was inside my elementary school gymnasium. It was Grandparents Day and the gymnasium was filled with parents, grandparents, teachers, and all the other students. Our class was singing ‘Be our Guest’ from Beauty and the Beast. There was a moment where not only did I screw up the song but I sang the incorrect line when no one else was singing. I was the only person to be heard in the gym! I was mortified and embarrassed. I thought I ruined the performance for my class and I misunderstood the laughter from the audience and reinforced internal shame from the laughter. I was picked on afterwards by my classmates.
Belief: If I spoke or performed in front of a group I was going to screw up and this will bring pain.
Behavior: The resulting behavior from this event and belief was that whenever I perform or speak in front of a group my anxiety would go through the roof. This occurred before and during any events with a big or small audience. My subconscious mind was creating this anxiety to protect me from experiencing embarrassment and shame which simply can be defined as pain.
Results: I feel completely calm and carefree before and during a performance or speaking in front of a group.